Being kind is good but you have to show kindness with wisdom. Often times, Kind people often have problems with their finance and this is not because they are not making good amount of money on a monthly basis.
The major reason why they are always broke is because they find it hard to say the word NO.
We have all been there. Even when we are at our lowest and people ask us for help, we'll try to go over our ways to help them.
Some of us even went as far as borrowing. This is just because we don't want to turn them down there by inconveniencing ourself to make them comfortable.
3 Reasons Why Your Kindness Could Make You Broke
1. You are not putting boundaries in your kindness: If you are too kind and always available and accessible, then you might be shooting yourself in the legs.
If you want to protect your finance, you have to put boundaries in the way you help people. This does not mean you are a bad person. No, far from it. It only means you are trying to protect your finance.
When you say Yes to everything, you are not teaching people that you value your time, energy and your money. It only shows desperation in you.
Sometimes, it is important that people miss your No. When you are fond of saying yes to them every time, they won't take you serious. But be unpredictable sometimes and say no.
2. You are afraid to Say No: Sometimes, we are afraid of what people will say when we say no and because of that, we always say yes to everything.
We feel when we say NO to people, they tend to look at us as if we are a bad person.
But who cares, whether you say YES or NO, people will still gossip about you.
Sometimes, we are afraid of being judged, afraid of what people will say, afraid that if I don't help, it will destroy our relationships with some certain people.
Also, we feel that if we don't help, We might not see people who will help us in return.
Fear has crept into our souls to the extent that we begin to imagine things that are not existing.
3. You Make Promise a lot: Every Promise You Made is a Debt you owe yourself. I am guilty of this and I am also sure many people are guilty of this as well.
There are some certain people in our lives that are very close and important to us.
If these people have an event and they want to sell clothing materials to us just because we are close.
Even when we don't need the cloth, we will find it hard to say no. Some of us even went ahead to borrow to impress these people by buying their clothes.
A wise man once said "Whenever you borrow, you are borrowing from your future money". Imagine you borrowing from your future money, How fast do you think you can make it? It will take a while.
Any promises you made that will have a negative influence on your finances should be avoided like a plague.
Don't ever displease yourself to please others because whenever you do, you are hurting yourself in the foot.
We live in a world where people live only based on what is happening in the moment. The moment the next moment comes, they have forgotten what had happen in the previous moments.
Anytime you make those promises just to impress others, you have just postponed your own suffering. This is because you are making promises you can't fulfill easily. It will surely backfire.
How to Control Your Kindness So it doesn't make you broke
1. Stop Explaining Too Much: Whenever you want to say No, don't give reasons why you are saying No. Kind people do this alot.
When you want to say No next time, just go straight to the point by saying things like;
"I won't be able to do that this time. I hope it goes well"
"Sorry, I won't be able to help at this time, wish you good luck"
2. Differentiate Feeling Sorry from Taking Responsibility: Sometimes, when people share their predicament with you, they are only sharing it just because they needed someone to talk to and maybe you are one of those they feel safe with to share these things.
It is not every struggle or touching story you empty your accounts on. If the billionaires of this world are doing that, do you think they will still be billionaire today? Of course not.
Henceforth, always remember that it is not every story or struggle that you try to help or take responsibility especially when you know it is at your expense.
However, if you have more than enough, you can do that willingly but if you know you are struggling, Don't.
3. Have a fixed limit for social obligations: People will always need help whether you like it or not. However, when you are just trying to build yourself, ensure you have a fixed limit for social obligations which includes money to help people.
Let it be in your budget. Henceforth, anytime the fixed amount you budgeted to help people have finished, and people still come to you for one help or the other, let them know you don't have the capability to help at the moment.
Let them wait till the following month, this is how you protect your finances.
What Happens When You Finally Master the Act of Saying No
1. You will be so Uncomfortable at first: You will feel as if you are a bad person when you begin to say No. Yes, these happens to everyone especially when you are just learning to say No.
Don't worry, it is part of the process. Nobody will be there when you are broke. In fact, those pressuring you with these and that will move on fast when you are no more.
Hence, always remember to cut your coat according to your size. Stop saying yes to things that can harm you on the long run.
2. As Time goes on, the people who always reach out to you for every small things will stop doing that:
They will begin to look for other alternatives. You will begin to see lesser requests from you for help. This is because you are mastering the art of saying no.
3. You will begin to experience peace that you haven't experienced for a while: The peace will come because you will have lesser people troubling you.
Do you know that song that says "Peace like a river". Yeah, that is exactly what you will feel.
4. You will begin to realize that even towards the end of the month, you still have some money left with you:
This is unlike before when you would have borrowed and be looking unto the next month before you can pay. From there, the cycle continues.
5. You will begin to attract better people to you: People that won't stress you and people that won't inconvenience you.
Story Of My Friend Who Always Say Yes and How He Became Broke
Isaac was my childhood friend. He is a giver who loves to give. I have always known him to be a cheerful giver and while growing up, it became part of him.
One day, he got employed in a banking sector and few months of working with the bank, everyone knows he was a cheerful giver.
As a result of this, everyone in the office knows that whenever they needed something, the only person they can turn to is Isaac.
There were times my friend knew borrowing money out will have a negative toll on his finances, but yet... He finds it difficult to say No.
As a result of this, he became broke one day and he decided to ask some of the. People he borrowed money to pay back so that he can use the money to sort himself.
Some of these people whom he messaged had the money. Everyone knows they had the money but they are not willing to give it to him.
Isaac learnt the hard way. Since that day, the energy to say No was eminently louder than Yes.
When next people came to him for help, he had the courage to say no. From that day henceforth, Isaac life began to transform positively.
After two months, he realized that he still had money left on the 25th of that month. This is because he has learnt how to handle leakages.
Conclusion: It is important you know that when you are broke, You are on your own. In this world that we are in, All man for himself.
Sometimes, when you are trying to solidify your finances, There are so many things you will deny yourself and there are so many people you will have to say NO to before you can build this wealth.
This does not mean you are a bad person, No... That is not it. Sometimes, you just have to take the harder parts when you want to achieve some certain things in life.