Your Friends Are Keeping You Broke: The Hidden Cost Of Belonging In Lagos

Recently, I was in my room thinking deeply about my life. One thought kept coming back to me: how much can our friendships influence the way we spend? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that some of my social habits were costing me far more than I had noticed. To understand where my money was going, I reviewed my OPay transaction history. I had opened the account earlier in the year, and I wanted to understand why my money seemed to disappear so quickly. What I discovered surprised me: I was spending a significant amount of money simply trying to fit in socially.

I remember it vividly. On Sunday, February 8, 2026, at about 7:00 p.m., I checked my account to see how much I had managed to save from my income in 2025. My original goal had been to save at least ₦1 million. Unfortunately, I discovered that I had saved only about ₦100,000. I was disappointed because I had expected to be much closer to my target. That realization made me examine my transaction history more carefully to understand where my money had gone.

What is the Guy Tax?

With macroeconomic shifts- let's use Nigeria as a practical example, such as fuel prices rising from ₦650 to over ₦890 per liter following subsidy removal- have increased the general cost of living, young working adults face a second, hidden inflation: Friendship Inflation. However, this inflation is global. As it exists in one country, it is also happening in other countries. Most of the working class, especially those within the range of 19-30, suffered greatly from it. However, this segment of the working class was suffering from the biggest Inflation ever, which is not coming from Inflation but from Friendship. You heard that right. "Friendship". 

How I Lost Over N500,000 Trying To Feel Among (The Real Figures)

I am just thinking about how stupid I was back then in the second quarter of 2025. I was trying to feel among, and I never knew it was making me lose money I would have used for something substantial. The most shocking thing is that the friends I tried to feel among back then, most of us don't talk like before. We are all living in the reality of our past mistakes. The money that we used to party, go clubbing, hiking, and the like would have been used to invest and set ourselves up for the future.

Let me show you the real breakdown from my life in Ayetoro back then in 2025. Loved the Outing Levy (₦10,000 – ₦15,000 Per Outing). Back then in 2025, my friends and I loved going out. Sometimes, we might decide to visit the beach, Cinema, club, or other fun places you can ever think of. I was not always at home on weekends back then in my little rented apartment in Ayetoro, Ipaja-Ayobo, Lagos. That worked out to approximately ₦45,000 per month just for outings.

Most times, I don't feel like going out. I often feel like staying indoors, watching some movies and resting, but my friends will never permit me to do that. I always feel I will miss a lot if I don't follow them, and I never knew this was something I needed to deal with quickly. Anytime we go out, we use Bolt drivers, and they charge us N5,000 each to carry us to our destination. Upon getting to our destination, some ask for an entrance fee, which is around N2,000, and we spend about N3,000 to N5,000 to get things we will eat or drink. It all depends, though, but we don't spend more than N15,000 per outing.

2. The Wardrobe Tax (₦30,000 – ₦40,000 Per Month)

We are the Gen Z generation, and you all know we love fashion. Since we are the type that goes out regularly, we won't want to visit places where they will see us in the same clothes twice. This has led us to the custom of buying new clothes, shoes, and trousers. At the last event I went to in December, I remember I bought one vintage top from Deluxe Boutique located at Oshodi, Lagos, at N20,000.

As we were about to leave, the boutique seller convinced us to buy a pair of chinos trousers to complement the top. We did as he said. He sold the trousers to us for N15,000. I used N5,000 to get a beautiful sandal as well at the boutique. Later on, I discovered it has become a norm for us to spend around that amount on fashion.

3. The Billing Tax (₦20,000 Per Month):

Apart from outings and clothes, I also spent money helping friends who were going through financial difficulties. Almost every month, someone would contact me for help with food, transport or another urgent expense. Because I wanted to be seen as a supportive friend, I set aside about ₦20,000 each month for these requests.

The Total I spend every month to feel among

• Outing - N15,000 x 3 outings = N45,000
• Wardrobe = N40,000 per month
• Billings = N20,000 per month 
• Total = N105,000 per month. 

This simply means I spend N105,000 per month from my N300,000 salary. I blow almost half of my salary on fun that is short-lived. Money that I could have saved to invest and build an empire for myself tomorrow. This is all happening because I wanted to feel among. Now, let's calculate N105,000 for the second half of 2025. This is N105,000 X 6 = N630,000.

Looking back, ₦630,000 was a significant amount of money for me. I could have saved part of it, invested part of it or used it to build an emergency fund. Instead, most of it went toward short-lived social activities. The experience taught me that the real cost of trying to impress people is not only the money you spend today, but also what that money could have helped you accomplish in the future.

How I Broke Free From Letting My Friends Keep Me Broke In 2026: The 3 Rules I Followed Strictly.

Please, I am not saying you should avoid your friends. These rules are only checking you on how to stop financing your friendship. 

Rule 1: Learn to say "Let me check my schedule"

I was having a conversation with one of my mentors whose name is Mr Godson. He is a video editor, and he handles what he does to make money. I chose him as my mentor because I love the way he handles money. He makes money work for him, and he understands how money works. During one of our conversations, he told me that the reason why broke people keep on getting broke day by day is that they always say yes immediately. While Rich people will reply, "Let me check my schedule". 

He said one of the things that has helped him to keep money is that he always replies, "Let me check my schedule," whenever he is invited to a party or occasion that will cost him his hard-earned money on frivolities. He said that,  luckily enough for him, everyone knows the Job he does, and everyone knows how taxing editing a video is. He said he uses this as a yardstick to turn away unprofitable offers.

Since then, I have also adopted this as my way of life, and it has helped me a lot to turn down unprofitable offers or invitation which will cost me money.

Rule 2: The Belonging Budget

I was discussing this with another mentor of mine. This time around, my mentor is a female. Her name is Funmilayo. I told her what I faced in 2025 and how I wasted a lot of money I could have saved on frivolities. I told her that I am neglecting my friends totally, and I don't want to have anything with them again. Then, she said something that resonated with me.

She said, "We humans are social beings, and it is necessary for us to socialize". She said I could still go out with my friends just like old times, but this time around there must be limitations. I asked her what she meant by limitation, and she said: "I must have a separate account for social paparazzi every month". She said I might put N20,000 or any amount that I know won't affect my savings. 

Then she said this is the money I will spend to have fun with my friends or use to help them out when the need arises. She said once this money is finished, I should just tell them that "The money budgeted for my social being has finished".  Definitely, they won't complain because they would have seen that you have spent a couple of times either on outings or for them during those months. They won't complain, and they will still keep you close.

But if you cut them off totally, that won't work. It will only make you an enemy to them.

Rule 3. Replace, Don't Just Remove

"When it comes to cutting off ties with unproductive friends, I am not against that, but ensure you replace them with productive ones." - This was the word of my father, "Mr Balogun," when I complained to him about how my friends made me lose a lot of money in 2025. I told him I don't want to have anything to do with any of them again, and he told me this.

Furthermore, he said I can replace them with an accountable partner who will help me to be accountable in some areas. For instance, a friend who will always ask if I have achieved all my goals for the day or the week. In return, I will ask them the same question. In cases where we both relax, we can then advise each other or one another on the way forward.

Conclusion

At present, I still have friends, but I am more intentional about the relationships and activities I spend money on. I want friendships that encourage growth rather than relationships in which spending money is the price of belonging. Since changing my spending habits earlier this year, I have been able to build my savings to around ₦500,000. I have not yet reached my ₦1 million target, but I am making progress.

My old friends are not bad people. Many of us were simply caught in the same cycle of spending money to fit in. Someone has to break that cycle, and I decided to start with myself.

Disclaimer: The personal finance experiences and breakdown shared in this post are for educational and informational purposes only and do not constitute formal financial advice