Recently, I was in my room, and I was having a deep thought about my life in general. A thought popped into my mind, and the thought is all about how friends keep us broke. I thought about it for a long time,e and I realized that sometimes, these relationships cost us a fortune.
Here is my personal breakdown of how social expectations silently drain monthly savings: I opened my OPay account early this year, particularly in the month of February. I was checking my transaction history because I was wondering how my money disappeared suddenly from my account. I found out something shocking. I found out how much I spend to fit in. You know, friends will come up with a plan, and most of them will agree with it, and even if you disagree, you won't want to let them know because you won't want them to tag you as a bad egg.
Sometimes, they might decide that on Friday, you are all going to the Club with matching outfits. Even if you don't subscribe to that because you feel it is a waste of money, you won't want to let them know so it won't be like you are the only one going against the plan. I could remember vividly. It was on a Sunday evening at exactly 7:00pm on the 8th of February, 2026. I was trying to see how much I had saved from my Job in 2025. Before the end of 2025, I had it in mind to save a minimum of One Million Naira.
Unfortunately, when I checked my account on the 8th of February, 2026. I realized that I had only managed to save N100,000. I felt so bad because I was actually expecting that I should have saved close to one million naira at worst. As a result of this, I decided to dig deeper into my transaction record for the whole year. This is what I found I spent monthly:
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| Expense Category | Monthly Spending |
| "Urgent 2K" Financial Assistance | ₦50,000 |
| Outings & Entertainment (Shawarma / Food) | ₦70,000 |
| Rideshare Transportation (Bolt) | ₦50,000 |
I spent all these amounts on a monthly basis. The most painful thing is that I spend all this just to feel among. It is not that I wanted to spend it. Most times, when we take some of our girlfriends out or when we take some new girls out. We spend more than what is planned. This is because we want to impress the girls, and we don't want them to see us as broke boys. Most times, we spend all this money just to feel among and just to impress the girls. I was looking for a collective name I could call this type of spending. I realized that we can call it The Guy Tax.
What is the Guy Tax?
This is a process whereby we buy things not because we want them but because our circle or friends want them to feel included. We tax ourselves to get things we don't need personally, but because our friends have agreed to get them, we buy them too. Economists call it "Conspicuous Consumption". Funny enough, Nigerians have given this type of tax a name. They call it "Make them no drop me".
With macroeconomic shifts- let's use Nigeria as a practical example, such as fuel prices rising from ₦650 to over ₦890 per liter following subsidy removal- have increased the general cost of living, young working adults face a second, hidden inflation: Friendship Inflation. However, this inflation is global. As it exists in one country, it is also happening in other countries. Most of the working class, especially those within the range of 19-30, suffered greatly from it. However, this segment of the working class was suffering from the biggest Inflation ever, which is not coming from Inflation but from Friendship. You heard that right. "Friendship".
How I Lost Over N500,000 Trying To Feel Among (The Real Figures)
I am just thinking about how stupid I was back then in the second quarter of 2025. I was trying to feel among and I never knew it was making me lose money I would have used for something substantial. The most shocking thing is that the friends I tried to feel among back then, most of us don't talk like before. We are all living in reality of our past mistakes. The money that we used to party, go clubbing, hiking, and the like would have been used to invest and set ourselves up for the future.
Let me show you the real breakdown from my life in Ayetoro back then in 2025. Loved the Outing Levy (₦10,000 – ₦15,000 Per Outing). Back then in 2025, my friends and I love going out. Sometimes, we might decide to visit the beach, Cinema, club, or other fun places you can ever think of. I am not always at home on weekends back then in my little rented apartment in Ayetoro, Ipaja-Ayobo, Lagos. On average, we spend wbetweenN10,000 to N15,000 per outing, and we go out at least three times in a month. That is about N45,000 on average per month just for going out to have fun.
Most times, I don't feel like going out. I often feel like staying indoors, watching some movies and resting, but my friends will never permit me to do that. I always feel I will miss a lot if I don't follow them, and I never knew this was something I needed to deal with quickly. Anytime we go out, we use Bolt drivers, and they charge us N5,000 each to carry us to our destination. On getting to our destination, some ask for an entrance fee, which is around N2,000, and we spend about N3,000 to N5,000 to get things we will eat or drink. It all depends, though, but we don't spend more than N15,000 per outing.
2. The Wardrobe Tax (₦30,000 – ₦40,000 Per Month)
We are Gen-Z generation and you all know we love fashion. Since we are the type that goes out regularly, we won't want to visit places where they will see us in the same clothes twice. This has led us to the custom of buying new clothes, shoes, and trousers. At the last event I went to in December, I remember I bought one vintage top from Deluxe Boutique located at Oshodi, Lagos, at N20,000.
As we were about to leave, the boutique seller convinced us to buy a pair of chinos trousers to complement the top. We did as he said. He sold the trousers to us at N15,000. I used N5,000 to get a beautiful sandal as well at the boutique. Later on, I discovered it has become a norm for us to spend around that amount for fashion.
3. The Billing Tax (₦20,000 Per Month):
Apart from all these miscellaneous spending. Some of our friends who are not financially buoyant like us always look up to us. There is this saying that "We may be in the same class, but we are not on the same level". It was during that period that I agreed with this quote. Let me use myself as an example; Almost every month, Tunde, Kunle, and Mary always reach out to me at least once a month to help them out. If it is not for feeding, it would be for transport; if it is not for transport, it will be for one thing or the other.
As a good friend who wants to be good to everyone and who doesn't want other friends to tag me as stingy. I budget N20,000 for this billing.
The Total I spend every month to feel among
- Outing - N15,000 x 3 outings = N45,000
- Wardrobe = N40,000 per month
- Billings = N20,000 per month
- Total = N105,000 per month.
This simply means I spend N105,000 per month from my N300,000 salary. I blow almost half of my salary on fun that is short-lived. Money that I could have saved to invest and build an empire for myself tomorrow. This is all happening because I wanted to feel among. Now, let's calculate N105,000 for the second half of 2025. This is N105,000 X 6 = N630,000.
This simply means I spent N630,000 on frivolities. With that amount, I could have gotten a full plot in Ifo, Ogun State. Those areas are still developing. Imagine me getting that plot of land, fencing it round, and reselling it later. I would make two times 2 or even more of the money I use to buy the land. Isn't that an Asset? Of course it is. The worst part is that all this fun-filled life that we lived in 2025, I have nothing to show for it. In fact, we hardly take any photos whenever we are going out to have some fun.
Apart from this, most of us are not talking like before, not because we are fighting but because each and every one of us is facing the reality every time. It hurts me that I lost that amount of money on frivolities. It haunts me everytime.
How I Broke Free From Letting My Friends Keep Me Broke In 2026: The 3 Rules I Followed Strictly.
Please, I am not saying you should avoid your friends. These rules are only checking you on how to stop financing your friendship.
Rule 1: Learn to say "Let me Check my schedule"
I was having a conversation with one of my mentors whose name is Mr Godson. He is a video editor, and he handles what he does to make money. I chose him as my mentor because I love the way he handle money. He makes money works for him and he understands how money works. During one of our conversations, he told me that the reason why broke people keep on getting broke day by day is that they always say yes immediately. While Rich people will reply, "Let me check my schedule".
He said one of the things that has helped him to keep money is that he always replies, "Let me check my schedule," whenever he is invited to a party or occasion that will cost him his hard-earned money on frivolities. He said luckily enough for him, everyone knows the Job he does, and everyone knows how taxing editing a video is. He said he uses this as a yardstick to turn away unprofitable offers.
Since then, I have also adopted this as my way of life, and it has helped me a lot to turn down unprofitable offers or invitation which will cost me money.
Rule 2: The Belonging Budget
I was discussing this with another mentor of mine. This time around, my mentor is a female. Her name is funmilayo. I told her what I faced in 2025 and how I wasted a lot of money I could have saved on frivolities. I told her that I am neglecting my friends totally, and I don't want to have anything with them again. Then, she said something that resonated with me.
She said, "We humans are social beings, and it is necessary for us to socialize". She said I could still go out with my friends just like old times, but this time around there must be limitations. I asked her what she meant by limitation, and she said: "I must have a separate account for social paparazzi every month". She said I might put N20,000 or any amount that I know won't affect my savings.
Then she said this is the money I will spend to have fun with my friends or use to help them out when the need arises. She said once this money is finished, I should just tell them that "The money budgeted for my social being has finished". Definitely, they won't complain because they would have seen that you have spent a couple of times either on outings or for them during those months. They won't complain, and they will still keep you close.
But if you cut them off totally, that won't work. It will only make you an enemy to them.
Rule 3. Replace, Don't Just Remove
"When it comes to cutting off ties with unproductive friends, I am not against that, but ensure you replace them with productive ones." - This was the word of my father, "Mr Balogun," when I complained to him about how my friends made me lose a lot of money in 2025. I told him I don't want to have anything to do with any of them again, and he told me this.
Furthermore, he said I can replace them with an accountable partner who will help me to be accountable in some areas. For instance, a friend who will always ask if I have achieved all my goals for the day or the week. In return, I will ask them the same question. In cases where we both relax, we can then advise each other or one another on the way forward.
Conclusion
As at present, I still have friends, but they are productive friends who help me to build an empire. Not the ones who make me waste valuable time and money just for me to feel among. The type of friends I am keeping now are intentional friends, and with them, I have seen a lot of positive differences in my life.
As at present, my OPay balance is not yet one million naira, which I envisage, but it is around N500,000 and still growing. It is not even up to 6 months yet this year, and I have been able to save this much. You must note that your Old friends are not evil; they are just suffering from the same thing you were suffering from last year, which is "Trying to Belong". Someone has to stop this continuous cycle of trying to feel among; be that person.
Disclaimer: The personal finance experiences and breakdown shared in this post are for educational and informational purposes only and do not constitute formal financial advice