The “No-Girlfriend” Budget: How Much I Saved by Staying Single for 6 Months

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Whether you like it or not, when you are in a relationship, you will spend. It doesn't matter if your partner is demanding or not. You will surely spend. Even when your partner doesn't ask you, as a caring person, you will go out of your way to make them happy and to show them you appreciate them. It is not possible to be in a relationship without spending. This is because it is no longer you but us. A relationship comes with bills, whether you like it or not.

Back then, when I was still dating, before we reached halfway through the month, I was always broke. At first, I thought maybe my salary wasn't enough. So, I tracked all my spending and discovered that most of my expenses were associated with my relationship. I decided to take a break from dating and romantic relationships for a while and focus on my finances. Over time, my spending habits began to change. I will share a breakdown of how much I saved as a single man and how much I spent while dating.



The ''No Girlfriend Budget: How Much I Saved By Staying Single For 6 Month


How My Money Looked When I Was Dating My Ex-Girlfriend

When I was still dating my ex-girlfriend, my salary was 150,000. This is the breakdown of how I often spent my salary every month.

  • Data and calls: approximately ₦7,000 per month
  • In a month, I often visit my Ex two to three times. The transport fare to see her for those two to three times is 15,000
  • The money we spend on dates every month is N15,000
  • On average, I spend 20,000 on Random transfers. Sometimes, my ex might need my assistance to do her hair and other minor expenses.
  • Birthdays and occasional surprises: approximately ₦20,000
  • Support for members of her family, particularly her younger relatives: approximately ₦8,000 per month.
  • I buy her clothes and perfume at least once a month, which costs 15,000


The Total Budgeted amount I spend on my ex-girlfriend on a monthly basis is 100,000. 



The total money I spent on my ex-girlfriend back then was More than 50 percent of my salary. Yet, it still feels like I wasn't doing enough. I am not even sure if I really want to marry the lady or just date for fun. I am not sure if she will marry me either. One day, I thought about it and asked myself: if my ex-girlfriend sees another guy who is richer than me and is willing to do X4 of what I am doing for her currently, won't she follow him? Of course, there is every possibility that she would.

I told myself after thinking about it deeply that I am making a financial mistake. Why would I be spending over 50 percent of my income on a lady who is not even my wife? Even if she is my wife, it is not advisable unless situations warrant it. It was then that I decided to end the relationship because it was hurting me. There is this quote I saw online that says, "Every penny you spend foolishly now has a way of telling in the future".

When I ended the relationship with my Ex, she cried, and I felt bad because I thought I had broken someone's heart. After the breakup, I felt sorry about how things had ended and considered asking her if we could start dating again. However, I decided to give myself some time before making that decision. About a week later, I went to her house because I wanted to talk about the possibility of getting back together. What I saw there made me reconsider the entire situation

When she saw me, she didn't even act like she knew me. This was the girl I had been spending on for the past 6 months. I later found out that the guy had been disturbing her since we were dating, and he was richer. It was barely even two weeks after we broke up that she moved on. I learnt a great lesson from that encounter: life moves on pretty easily irrespective of your sacrifice. Life can never be stagnant irrespective of your achievements, and people move on faster. I was hurt and cried for days. Those days, I felt so stupid and used. I blamed myself. However, after crying for days, I motivated myself and told myself that "It is time to focus on myself".

Looking back, I wish I had been more intentional with some of the money I spent during that period. I could have saved or invested more of it. With better financial planning, more of that money might still be working toward my future today.

Anyways, I braced myself and set 6 rules for myself, which I focused on strictly even when it is not easy to do. The rules are as follows;
  1. No dating or any form of romantic relationship in the next 6 months
  2. No clubs, lounges, or parties for six months
  3. I kept my mobile data subscription but temporarily stopped non-essential subscriptions such as Netflix and other entertainment services.
  4. I limited my personal monthly spending, including food and other everyday expenses, to about ₦70,000.
  5. My data subscription for every month must not be more than 10,000
  6. My transport fare and money for emergencies must not be more than 20,000.

If we look at the above and we add all the money I intend to spend in a month, the breakdown is as follows: 40,000 (Personal use) + 10,000 (Data subscription) + transport fare & emergency (20,000) = 70,000. This means that all the money I spend altogether in a month after the breakup is 70,000. Trust me, it is very hard to adjust my expenses every month to this, but I have always known that nothing good comes easy.

What made the adjustment easier was asking myself a few questions before spending money: Is this necessary? What benefit will I get from it? Can I comfortably afford it? I jokingly think of this as my personal version of two-factor authentication for spending. It has helped me become much better at separating needs from wants.

What Happened Month By Month After I Set These Rules for Myself


Month 1 & 2: Transitioning Phase 


This phase is known as the transitioning phase. It is known as the transitioning phase because I am just moving from the reckless spender to a prudent man. I am just moving from the phase of spending recklessly on my ex-girlfriend to minimizing my expenses to the barest minimum. It was a very difficult moment. Sincerely, change is hard. However, after deciding this, I realized that I was lonely because most of the time I am always on the phone calling or doing video calls with my ex. The good part about this is that since I broke up and told myself that there would be no romantic relationship for the next 6 months, I have been able to curtail my spending. Now, I don't have to think about spending on my girlfriend's family, getting her birthday gifts, and hangouts. All those leakages have finally been plugged. As a result of this, I was able to save about 140,000 in the first two months. That is huge, isn't it? Of course it is.

Month 3 & 4: The Discovering Phase



During this period, I suddenly had much more free time. I considered spending it on parties, hotels and other entertainment, but that would have gone against the spending rules I had created for myself. Instead, I decided to use some of that time to develop new skills. I have always been interested in video editing, scriptwriting, cinematography and directing, so I began focusing particularly on video editing and directing. Learning new skills while working a 9-to-5 job has not been easy, but I believe the experience can improve my future earning opportunities.


The reason why I decided to learn directing and video editing is that they are what I love doing. So, I feel directing might not give me gigs immediately, but video Editors are always needed daily. Once I am good at it, I will always get gigs. I believe I can include this to make extra income for myself and also save from the money I am earning from my services to people and add it to the previous money I have been saving. Trust me, it is not easy combining a 9-5 job with learning a skill. It is really very difficult.


Month 5 & 6: The Growth Phase



By months five and six, I had saved more than ₦350,000 in total. I am proud of that progress because I know how difficult saving had been for me previously. My next goal is to continue building those savings while investing in useful tools, training and an emergency fund.

At the end of the 6th month, I hope to have saved about 420,000. This is how I intend to spend it.

  • Keep 50,000 for investment.
  • Get a tripod for 20,000
  • Get a laptop for my editing: N250,000
  • Budget for data for the first three months: N50,000
  • Keep the remaining 50,000 for emergency purposes.

These video editing skills I am learning will generate more income for me.


Lessons I Learnt From My Story


    1. What I Learned From the Experience: The biggest lesson wasn't that relationships are expensive. The lesson was that every lifestyle has a cost. You can be in a relationship and manage your money responsibly. You can be single and spend every naira you earn. The difference is awareness. When you know how much your lifestyle costs, you can decide what you can afford and what needs to change. That is what those six months taught me.
    2. Also, always prioritize yourself first, and one of the ways you can do this is by not impressing anybody with your hard-earned money. If you want to give, it should be given willingly and not because you are trying to make her stay. Life is short, and it moves quickly.
    3. My 15–20% Rule: At some point, I started thinking about keeping relationship-related spending within around 15–20% of my income. But I don't want to present that as a universal financial rule. Different people have different incomes, responsibilities, relationships, and lifestyles. For me, it was simply a personal benchmark that helped me understand my spending. The important thing isn't whether the number is 10%, 15%, 20% or something completely different. The important thing is knowing what you can actually afford. A relationship should fit into your financial life, not destroy it.
    4. Loneliness is hard, but it is better than a wrong relationship. Your partner is meant to complement you and also make life easier for you, but when they are always a burden to you, then you must think twice because it is likely you are in the wrong relationship.


    Conclusion


    The biggest thing I learned from those six months wasn't that being single made me richer. It was that tracking my money made me more aware of my behaviour. That lesson applies whether you're single, dating, or married. Love generously. Enjoy your relationship. Support the people you care about. But don't forget your future. Your partner should not be your financial plan, and your bank account should not be the price you pay to prove that you love somebody.

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